She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
