He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She's the barista slut.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
