Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
