your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
