Porn is love you can see.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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