good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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