PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
