I'm going to jail i love you
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
