Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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