that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
