i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
