worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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