take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
