You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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