I think I just saw someone hide a body.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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