i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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