you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize