Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
