Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize