google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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