I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
