Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize