i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
