i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It's Friday. Sex?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
