What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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