Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
did you just send me my own nude
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
