i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i came on her dog
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
