Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
