Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
