I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i think im in europe. pls send help
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
