Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Panties = found
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
