So drunk its hurt
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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