i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
