absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
