Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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