i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
