Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
