is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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