don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
