If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
