dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
