one two three fourrrrnication!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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