carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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