I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize