i think my tv is drunk
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
