Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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