Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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