Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Can you bring me the toilet please
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
