So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I need to stop coming to work sober
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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