I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you will always have a special place in my vag
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
