In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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