I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
