She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she peed on how many people?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
