The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
this just has baby written all over it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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