Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
