Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We are two peas in an std pod
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
