"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
