I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
