that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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